The Quarter Life Crisis of an Ashkenazi Princess

I unfollowed Matt and removed him as a follower. After almost a week of following each other on instagram, I've decided that it wasn't a good decision. Hannah's wedding was yesterday and it stirred up a lot of uncertain feelings. If she can find her way back to her S/O after a period of uncertainty, why can't I? I'm comitting myself to finding my way back to Jason. OK, need to go work now.

Published late; entry is from from Summer 2024 I'm so secure in my relationship and anxiously attached in real life that the unbalance is about to tip my relationship over. That's basically the mantra of my life right now. I put off writing this entry for weeks but my laptop was burning a hole in my nightstand and my heart was being tugged right towards it. Then tonight when I finally picked it back up I realized I was so hesitant to write down my feelings and struggles that I started associating journaling with unearthing the bad. I want to have a positive association with journaling, and excitement about never knowing what was going to turn up on the pages. The pleasure and wisdom I would get reading my entry months later. So, I'm making an executive decision that not all of this blog post has to be negative. I'll do my best. So anyways, I started getting anxiety earlier this summer after a trip to Philly with Danielle, Hannah and Talia. I had been getting anxious whi...

I want to capture this feeling. I just finished a therapy session (I've been seeing one now for a few weeks) and we talked about Matt, perfectionism, and radical acceptance). In the spirit of not wanting to be a perfectionist, I decided to sit down and start writing instead of waiting for the 'perfect' moment to strike.  Where did we leave off? I live with Jason now. We moved in about 8 months ago, to a sleek, perfect 2-bedroom/2-bathroom apartment with a sleek, perfect view of Brooklyn from 49 floors up. Even though I have a life that most people kill for,  I, unable to let myself enjoy things or be happy for myself, have spent a good amount of that time questioning everything. Surprisingly, and this one's a shocker, money and the perfect relationship did not fix all my problems.  I still have social anxiety, coming and going in waves; in fact, I had (what I think was) my first panic attack a few weeks ago, which launched my long-needed therapy journey. For this, I am ...