The Quarter Life Crisis of an Ashkenazi Princess

Today is Yom Kippur. So instead of going downstairs and making some of that spinach ravioli in my fridge that I can't stop thinking about, I'll write a blog post so I can remember how I felt this day. It's 4:29pm, AKA the part of the fast where you can't think about anything other than food and your stomach won't let you forget it. I haven't left my bed, other than to pee once and sit on the bathroom floor because I felt like I was going to either throw up, or pass out. I reluctantly drank some water which alleviated my discomfort for a few short minutes. I woke up at 11:30 to attend my zoom class. It's completely ridiculous that they haven't cancelled classes today, given the huge Jewish population at UF. What's more, I've had to miss morning services for both Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur due to my morning classes. I wasn't going to do services but felt a strong urge this morning to turn on the live stream for Temple Beth El. I'd usually...

Forgive me father for I am high. So my grammar might not be great but I have to articulate the way I'm feeling right now, so I can look back at this heartbreak when I'm going through the next one and find comfort in the fact that I've been through this before. I've always thought of myself as a painfully practical person. Not someone who lives in a fantasy... so why have I been in denial for so long? Matt and mine's relationship is going to painfully end. It came to a breaking point during a FaceTime conversation tonight where we drew some boundaries about talking less in the future. One of the hardest things was realizing that he's never been the one to suggest boundaries--so the fact that he did must mean that he really wants them. He also revealed to me that he had been seeing some girl and had went on multiple dates with her. Eventually, it got to the point where she wanted to date him and he had to tell her that he was emotionally unavailable. I didn't ...

It's interesting how one moment you feel like shit, and the next you're on a high. Today, in this moment, at 2:01 pm on Wednesday, I'm not feeling too bad. For one, I got my classes under control. There's always that period of adjustment when it comes to new classes at the start of the semester. Learning the format of the class and getting into your "groove" can sometimes be more stressful than the class itself. Do I need the textbook? Did I already miss my first assignment going hard during syllabus week? Are lectures essential, or can I sleep through them? All of this confusion had me stressed, but today I finally figured things out. Even my programming class, which I was majorly stressing about, I seem to have under control (at least the material we've covered thus far). At this point I have: learned basic (BASIC) code (java) got a 50/50 on my first biodiversity assignment scheduled my two ProctorU exams attended a class in-person instead of zooming fro...