A Hannah Horvath moment

I got the impulse to start writing again (I'm going to call it writing from now on, not journaling--to give it more credibility and myself more freedom for content) because of the HBO series Girls

OKAY,

I'm coming back to continue this blog post a few days later. I know it's been exceptionally long since I've written, and the thought just occurred to me (ocurred?) that maybe I've been reluctant to write because I didn't want to articulate the struggles I've been going through and immortalize them by actually acknowledging them. 

ANd yeah, maybe I had to run out to a bodega 7 minutes away at 9:30pm on a 3-day weekend to buy coconut water for myself while I'm 10mg high on an edible. And some kind of cool rasta alt playlist that's surprisingly fun to journal to. 

But maybe the thought of recapping the last (almost) year of my life just seems to big a task to surmount given everything that's gone down and everything I feel like I might need to dive into.

But I'm not writing this for anyone but myself, and I don't need this to be anything other than what I feel like talking about in the moment. 

So now where I do start...

I'm seeing someone. No, wait, that's too vague. I'm seeing someone and I think he could be my husband. Does that make it more clear?

It's the type of love and relationship I was ready for around this time last year, the type I had hoped and prayed for, cried over, studied scrupulously, and wanted more than anything else.

Jason came into my life with the perfect, swift timing in a way that nobody could argue was in absolute fairy-tale fashion. Not only do I have the man, I have the story. It's possible that the amount of times we have told people the story of how we met, will only be a small blip in the long list of occurences that will stretch longer and longer over the years.

EDIT: wrote this a few weeks ago, didn't finish it, just found it now so I'm gonna publish it late.