Post-nut (un)clarity

 What is it about an orgasm that makes me instantly fall in love with a man? I read a book recently that has been changing my life: Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov.  The book basically outlines how to go from a "doormat" to a "dreamgirl," and how to get men to respect you, court you, and want you as their dreamgirl. The book offers so many great principles such as 

• Men don't respond to words; they respond to no contact
• Don't nag men, it will make them see you as their mommy and they will want to rebel like a little kid
• never tell a man you're "looking for a relationship" right off the bat. Then they will feel like you're needy, and will run the opposite direction
• Women develop feelings from sex; men develop feelings from not being around you
• on that note, let a man wonder where you are or what you're up to. Don't let him know what you're doing all the time
• Don't keep tabs on a man, or act distrustful if he's going out with his friends. Give him his freedom, and he'll come crawling back to you wanting to tell you about his night.
• Independance in a woman is sexy. Keep your hobbies, your schedule, your passions, and your friends. A man likes knowing that you don't have to rely on him for everything
• Let him feel like a man, and he'll think he's in control---when in reality, you wear the pants. Let him fix the TV, even if you already know how. Ask him to open that jar of sauce, and then tell him how strong he is. Ask him to get you a glass of water after sex, and he'll feel like he's taking care of his queen, because he decided to--not because you told him to.

On the topic of that last point, I completely manipulated Jack today and I'm really on a high because of it. Here's the story: Jack Kussman was an unassuming frat guy that I took to my work holiday party a few weeks ago; but somehow it's turned into a situationship of sorts. We'd seen each other 4 times at that point, had sex, but he still hadn't asked me on a date. This is the first time since I've moved to NYC that I slept with a guy before getting taken on a real date. It's soooo college... but is that why I like it so much? It's completely addicting because I never know where it's going next. 

In any case, I needed to figure out a way to get Jack to take me on a date, while also making it sound like his idea, so I came up with a plan. Last night, I went over to his apartment and told him I couldn't sleep over because I had a brunch date the next morning. At first, he acted like he didn't care at all. I was disappointed, becuase I was really hoping to get a reaction out of him (i.e., tell me to cancel the date). We also had a conversation about me wanting to be respected by him and that if we were going to have sex, I expected him to take me out and make an effort. He said that he wasn't sure what a date would mean, since he's "not really looking for anything right now." That was hard to hear, but I think I struck a good balance of not acting like I wanted to lock him down as my boyfriend while also wanting to spend time with him outside of just sex. Then, something interesting happened. He kept bringing up this (fake) brunch date throughout the night. First, it was "so where is this guy taking you tomorrow?" "where did you meet him?" Of course, I had to make up answers and think on my feet. Then he said something like "you know what would be funny? If the guy showed up to the date and both of us walked in and sat at a table." Then later in the night, he asked to see my Hinge so he could see "who this guy" was--and I hesitated for a second and debated telling him that it was all a lie, and a joke to get him to ask me out. Luckily, I continued lying and proceeded to show him the most threatening profile possible: A handsome med student who went to an ivy leauge school. Jack then went on to make fun of his profile, look up his med school to see if it was well-ranked, and stalk him on LinkedIn. The whole thing was extremely satisfying... he could hardly control his jealousy! I played it cool and simply observed him, because men love bitches... and I'm his dreamgirl, not his doormat!

Then we had sex. Without a condom (I know, I know). It was kind of hard for him to get it up at first because he revealed to me that he's on prozac. I like that he felt comfortable sharing that with me. The sex was pretty good for it only being the second time, and he even had the lube I suggested ready by his bedside. He also suggested we do my favorite position that I had introduced to him the first time we had sex, and let me just say... DAMN. Some guys just can't find the rhythm in this particular position, but for whatever reason it just worked for us. And then, he made me  o r g a s m .  Once a guy makes me finish, I'm pretty much in love with him. I'm aware that this is a flaw, but something about those happy hormones just makes me fall. Then, almost as good as the orgasm, he kissed me on the cheek when we were done. Ughhhh I am basically blushing just typing it. He also ate me out... even though I said I was still kind of on my period (oh, and I didn't even give him head - BIG female power move).  Then before we went to bed he started looking up brunch places (muahahaha).

In the morning, I was half expecting him to not remember breakfast or try to avoid it. Instead, he started looking up places and talking about where we should go. When we walked to breakfast, he asked me if I wanted to go to one of his favorite thrift stores afterwards, and after paying for my breakfast, he doubled down and asked me if we could go. We went to a cute thrift store where he showed me some antique judaica that he had been eyeing for awhile. Afterwards, he walked me to the bus stop and waited with me, and when the bus came I deliberately didn't kiss him - we hugged and he kissed my hair, which I thought was cute. I could tell we both weren't sure if we should kiss for real, but I had made it that far without giving in! So I got on the bus and said "thank you for breakfast!" He made some joke about it being "a date." In any case, I realized on the bus ride back that my plan had completely, 100% worked... I had lied about having a brunch date, and feeling threatened, Jack had worked overtime to take me out the next day. Too bad he doesn't want a relationship (allegedly).

I'm not sure where this is going or what is going to become of it, but right now I'm okay with that. All I know right now is that I'm not hating the single life at this moment, and not being tied down isn't so bad! Well, time to read our horoscope compatibility... because I'm crazy!! Goodnight.